Dating – before Tinder was a thing

Let’s talk about dating.

‘What is dating?’

Ah, young ones, life before cell phones, and Tinder was so different, and dating was how relationships used to happen back in the prehistoric ages…

You would meet someone at a friend’s party, or school… you would begin talking and by the end of the meeting you would have exchanged numbers with the knowledge that the two of you would plan to get together again, because of the mutual “spark” that you both felt in each-others presence.

Then the awkward telephone call would have to happen… let’s go back to when WhatsApp was a distant dream, and it was too expensive for you (with the pocket money that you got) to make a phone call on your cell phone: The home telephone would ring, your parents would answer and get a smug look on their face as they called you to the phone; “Someone wants to talk to you”. Then you would have THE MOST awkward conversation, where you would exchange pleasantries; “Hi, how are you?”, “Good, thank you”, “I want to see you again”, “I’ve been… missing you…”, “Oh… ahem… me too. I also want to see you again, meet you on Saturday night at the movies?”, “Ok, see you then”. Then you would have to waste all of your airtime (before data, and WhatsApp was a thing) to SMS all of the lovey dovey stuff that you would never say in front of your parents.

That was how it used to happen, my friend.

Now, “dating” (if you can call it that) is so much easier, especially for people who don’t work in an office, so they don’t meet new people very often. It’s also easier for people who don’t physically go to a varsity (they study from home, over the internet, or email). You can just go online, on Tinder (or Badoo, Bumble, EliteSingles, Scout, or WeChat, etc.). There is so many to choose from, but Tinder is your safest bet, because you have to have a legitimate Facebook account to make a Tinder profile, so it’s harder for some creepy old man to pose as a 27 year old super model. Then Tinder goes through your Facebook friends and looks for any opposite sex “Tinderes” with common friends, common Facebook interests, and common anything. Then as you’re swiping left or right (in the hopes of finding “the one”) the Tinder wizards are hard at work trying to give you a choice of legitimate ‘Facebookers’ who might be appealing to you.

As I’m typing this up, I’m realizing how completely insane this world is becoming… and how difficult it is becoming to find “a mate” (going back to the basics). As over population is becoming a real thing, finding your match is becoming harder and harder… But… I think Hollywood and all of the photoshopped images in magazines is giving everyone a fake “normal” and an unrealistic expectation of how a couple is supposed to look, and how they are supposed to act.

Here’s what I want: A tall, dark, handsome, gentleman who opens the front door for me, who pays whenever he takes me out on a classy date and never lets me open my purse when we’re together, who is polite to my mum, and funny with my dad, someone who can cook, sing, dance, throw me over his shoulder as he carries me away to a fully paid for Caribbean holiday.

THAT is never going to happen.

Can you see how insane expectations are.

If you get a partner that gives you all of this stuff, that’s wonderful… but you shouldn’t expect it. Especially over Tinder, it may not be easy for someone to lie and make a fake profile over Tinder, but it is possible.

Now, I know that the majority of the population have used Tinder (or something similar), I’m not saying that it’s bad (hell, I’ve been on Tinder), and it does make the lives of millions of single people a lot easier, but you always have remember what the word “dating” actually means… if you’re at home, alone, on Tinder… you are not dating… You are swiping left or right. There is a difference.